Separated at birth ...

any Dr Seuss character ... the cat in the hat, any who from whoville and certainly the Grinch ... and Phil Spector. Bizarre and disturbing.

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Oxymoronic times

Saying 'I work from home' during school holidays. Impossible. A new definition for the urban dictionary methinks
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Social networking

Mmm - when your mum signs up to Facebook and is writing a book about age inappropriate thinking and emotional maturity is it strictly cosher to throw a teenage hissy fit age 38? Think this is one for Mumsnet (they of the hugely popular discussion thread 'is it appropriate that' ...?) Failing that I could ask Philip Scofield or Stephen Fry for their comments. Crikey - between remembering passwords and thinking up my next witty posting I barely have time for a life to rattle on about ... Never mind, I'll turn it all into a book next week cleverly entitled 'is it me or is modern life shit ... But because i have a facebook/friends reunited/myspace/twitter profile to maintain I kid the world and myself that I'm really interesting'. Catchy.

Actually I think it's great that mum is on - I often joke that her body will evolve a usb port, a charger and a dongle connection by 2012. Imagine my surprise when I found out a man in Norway (I think) has beaten her to it. After losing a finger in an accident he had a false finger attached which is actually a usb memory stick. It's her birthday soon, I'm off to check out the private healthcare to see if we're covered.
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Spring has sprung

Is it just co-incidence that the banking crisis/credit crunch hit hard during the seeminly longest winter in modern memory? I think it probably is seeing as parts of america get great weather all year round (oh except when we're in florida in june expecting wall to wall sunshine and get days and days of rain - we're from ireland for goodness sake what's the craic with that nonsense) but today it feels like anything is possible - not just cos the sun's out but because - dare I say it - there's warmth sneaking out and about for the first time in what feels like a millenia. Can't give up the ugg boots just yet, but do feel the polo necks could give way to t shirt and my summer staple the cardi. Phew it must be hot!

I'm hoping that the clement weather will stifle the media obsession with doom and gloom and be replaced by berrating us about our lack of green credentials, our massive footprints and support this with photos of northerners on the beach in nothing more than thongs and flipflops (well it is in the mid teens you know).

There's nothing better than living in the uk during spring - really absolutely nothing (and that comes from someone for whom spring means having to listen to her mother max lyrical about wild flowers and bird species so I don't say it lightly). Now the all we have to do is trick our summer into thinking that this is really australia then we've cracked it.

Pimms anyone? Is that Cliff Richard I see over there?
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Self Employment Blues

I can hear a dog bark, see a porch light swing in the warm breeze, smell the cornbread cooling on the counter ... I've got the self-employment blues.

Thing is I know I'm fantastic, my cards are fantastic, my service is fantastic ... my inbox is full of magical emails telling me that I've been selected for a whole load of wedding directories, companies want to wholesale my cards ... I fill with expectation that one of these emails will lead to an unexpected but well-deserved break into the national consciousness.

Then I wake up, smell the coffee, click on the embedded link and see how much hard-earned cash these wonderful benefactors want to relieve me of.

Feeling lonely - no need. Register a new business broadband account, optimise the keywords in your url - instant bezzie mates with everyone except for customers. Marvellous.

When you set up a business you have dreams, expectations, ambitions that you feel, possibly for the first time, you are in control of and its intoxicating. Its also totally naïve and unrealistic but without those feelings you'd never get off the ground.

I'm just thoroughly sick of being bombarded with 'great opportunities' that mean nothing - I'm becoming more and more cynical which means that I'm worried I may actually miss the real deal if it ever passes my way.

I fight the negativity by baking, drinking too much coffee and spending money I'm not earning in seductive delicatessans. I will finish this year a couple more stone overweight, caffeine addicted and with the associated heart trouble! Denial is delicious and deadly.

The twang of a deep guitar echoes round the valley and I just stand up, spit out my cheroot and dander dolefully in through the shuttered door. I've got the self-employment blues ... Yeah man.
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My thoughts on trains

Truly fabulous things are trains. If I travel on one more than once a year however it's a 'red letter year' (apparently if you say it it's real, those are the sayings rules). As a student trains were part of my life and I had some fairly eventful journeys due to never understanding that if you are doing University work for Philosophy and Psychology as I was, and you make eye contact with any fellow traveller - they will tell you a) their philosophy of life & peace in your time or b) that they are a psychopath. Honest.

Yesterday on the train to Dublin I chose to read Virginia Woolf - which considering my previous experiences was a bold move. Mind you I'm no longer 18 and open-faced in a short skirt so that may have had something to do with the lack of wierdos too, it's the only reason I've found to bond with my wrinkles. Normal service will be resumed tomorrow - ie. I hate aging but that's another subject entirely.

I constantly travel in a car in lots of short bursts in my more and more parochial lifestyle. Huge excitement then when I packed (optimistically) 2 books for the journey. Oh the envy I felt of every commuter who can do this sort of thing routinely. Potentially 4 hours of reading - complete bliss.

So out came Mrs Dalloway which I began to devour. Blimey I thought - no wonder she was depressed. Anyone with that stream of consciousness going on in their head all the time must be a bit doolalley. It then occurred to me that most blogs are a bit like that - just not as well written.

Perhaps if I travelled by train more often I may have got to this grand age and have read more than about 3 non-fiction books in my life and might know 'stuff' - well, I know lots of 'stuff' but I mean useful stuff that would help me understand The Guardian.

The Big Day

Well, can anyone really get away without mentioning Barak Obama today? No - not really and rightly so. Bet you think this blog is gonna be all about the 44th President of the United States of America? Nope.

It's the other 'Big Day' I'm on about ... The Wedding Day - not of anyone in particular just any old couple thinking of tieing the knot, getting spliced, and so on.

How will I remember Obama's inauguration speech - it was on in the background as I messed about with photos on the computer of my faintly ridiculous but I think fabulous new range of Wedding Stationery - if I was Pavlov's dog I would now associate President Obama with cats in top hats and veils.

Well I did say it was a bit ridiculous. All the best ideas are ... in 1964 a black President was a ridiculous idea too thought the many. I just hope it doesn't take over 40 years for my designs to catch on.

I did warn you I was low brow.

www.lighthousecards.co.uk

Crikey! Haven't blogged for a month - can't imagine what I've been doing what with a business that makes hand painted Christmas cards, two children in assorted plays and ... a life!!!

Yea!

Making hay while the sun shines - I enjoyed every mad minute of the lead up to the Christmas which included my first civil partnership to be known as 'Bob and Keiran's Big Gay Day'!

It was fabulous and so heartfelt - fabulous location 'The Mill' at Ballydugan - must remember this for future 'do's. It was brilliantly Christmassy too from the freezing puddles outside on the cold, crisp & sunny day to the beautifully subtle pink Christmas decorations. The Belfast Gay Choir was in attendance, there was barely a dry eye in the house. Well done lads for a truly wonderful day which was warmly enjoyed by all in attendance.

Other highlights of the season were Paul's first speaking part as The Grumpy Innkeeper in the Sunday School Nativity Play - favourite line said in a strong Belfast accent (think Jim in Corry) 'I've got pizza and a pint for two fifty but no beds mate' - marvellous.

Jack was Servant 3 in the school nativity play - hilarious as he had to wear leggings. Photos to be hidden til he is 18 for maximum embarrassment.

Claire held a soiree for friends to which I contributed the rocket fuel mulled wine and homemade honeycombe - this is the 2nd time this year Claire has held the party in her house and I've helped cater, I'm hoping that we can up this to at least 3 times in 2009 as it really saves on stress. Well for me anyway. Big Thanks Claire.

However, the big hit of the season has to be the Wii. I may never need to go out again. Saw the New Year in playing Tennis - bizarre; although my favourite has to be the cow game on Wii play, for the uninitiated it's truly wonderfully silly. Saving for the Wii Fit now ...

Gotta go, a grudge match of Top Trumps is waiting ... thanks Santa! (not).